Battle Royal
by njking24
Summary: A shameless excuse for me too write battle scenes at my leisure. Its the battle royal folks, the one stop shop for grudge matches and fights to the death. Fights, fights, more fights, and a loosely coherent pot line slapped together by an author r far too enthusiastic about fight scenes.


**This is an intro to a story ive been thinking of all day. It's a quick idea. Barely 1.3k words at best but I think some people will like it. This is a pretty shameless excuse for me to write fight scenes and a crack fic at the same time. I like humor, and I like to write fight scenes. Hopefully these two will work together and you guys will like it. **

**Read and review. Let me know if you like it.**

**XXX-XXXXX-XXXX**

"Welcome Folks!"

ThE announcer's voice called out from the middle of the stadium. It was a loud deep voice, much matching in tone and quality to one expected to speak jovially to the masses. The announcer was a short man, barely five foot tall, with dark chocolate skin and a bald head. He wore no sandals, or footwear, walking around the arena bare foot, and his portly form made his bare feet seem rather small. His dark brown eyes staring across to the faceless masses. They scanned left, then right, then left once more before finally arriving on the contestant's box.

"Now folks some of you have been waiting a lifetime for this event. Some of you have not. Some of you just heard of this."

The announcer disappeared from the arena floor. Instead appearing in the contestant's box. He looked on a multitude of faces. The camera that floated beside him looked on as well. On the other side of the arena a large screen showed the faces of a collection of people. Nearly a hundred people stood in the contestants box, more than a hundred if you counted the same person at different ages.

"Now I know some of you have questions…"

"What the hell is going on here?!" A loud mouthed boy screamed out. His blond hair shook as he spoke. His voice was loud, and his blue eyes stared at the dark skinned announcer. The announcer laughed at the boy's sudden loudness. It was a wide mirthful one.

"This!" The announcer screamed suddenly shocking a number of the younger contestants. His hands arched wide to emphasize his words. "This is the arena! The place where warriors of my choosing come and battle for my faceless masses! You all have been chosen. Some of you may notice younger versions of ourselves, that because I consider them separate warriors. As one age they change, and because they're not the same person their different fighter."

"Well…shit." All faces turned to a blond haired blue eyed man. The whisker marks on his cheeks and his sky blue eyes clued in those who knew him as to who he was.

"N-, Naruto?" The soft voice of a young Sakura called out to the blond.

"Now, now contestants. You can speak when someone not important is here. Now the rules are simple, you fight till one of you dies, or is defeated. Death is temporary in the arena and you'll be…revived in the contestants box after the fight. This is a contest, a death style battle that will allow the winner to fulfil one wish their hearts desire. Want to bring someone back from the dead? I can do that! Want to rule the world? I can do that! Oh, what I can do for you if you win!"

"So…we're fighting to have one of our wishes fulfilled?"

"Of course! So lets begin!" The announcer disappeared only to reappear once more in the stadium. The faceless masses cheered. They roared, the sung praises of glory and worship to the announcer. They loved him, adored him. And in no way were the faceless masses just a way for the announcer to inflate his ego, in no way was he compensating for anything because he was the shit goddammit.

He turned around to the giant screen. "Lets see who gets matched up first." Two icons appeared on the screen. Faceless question marks that slowly started to rotate through a multitude of faces.

As this went on Sakura turned to her teammates. "Sasuke, Naruto…who do you think we'll fight?" She looked wearily around her. "I mean…there are kage's here. Over there is Tsunade of the sannin. And next to her is Jiraiya," she looked around once more. "I don't think I even have a chance of winning."

"Awe Sakura-chan! Don't put yourself down. That announcer guy said we'll just return to this box when we're done. Even if we lose we wouldn't die. Not like i'm going to lose i'm awesome." Oh, the ignorance of youth.

" What about our older selves. I see a pink hair woman over there i'm pretty sure is a grown up me." She looked down and blushed when she saw herself turn and send a kind smile towards…herself?

Their attentions were drawn back to the board when they heard a loud buzz.

"Well folks Im sorry to say that this little get together is starting off on the wrong foot. It seems we won't even be having much of a match. Today's contestants….."

The announcer split into two, and a table appeared before him. Microphone popped into existence on the table as well. Now seated the dark skinned man started to rattle off into the mic.

"Well folks it seems we have a piss poor match here today."

"Yes it does folks, a piss poor match. I mean look at the contestants. We've got the one, the only Uzumaki Naruto at age eighteen versus Uchiha Sasuke at age thirteen. This won't even be a battle folks. It will be a massacre. A blood bath! There is only one obvious winner t this obviously mismatched and unfair fight and it is not Uchiha Sasuke. That poor boy, the beating he will receive today will be one that just won't quite."

"What happens when you put someone with complete mastery of His primary element, someone who's completely mastered the sage arts, someone who's completely mastered the demon sealed within him. Someone who faced the amalgamation of seven of the nine bijuu bound together in an unholy sealing right and then controlled by what can only be described as a comically evil madman, against a gennin with chunin level skills and abilities?"

"A piss poor, one sided battle?"

"That's right me, a piss poor one sided battle."

Sasuke and the older Naruto appeared in the arena. Sasuke drew his kunai and prepared for the battle.

"Look sasuke, why don't you give up…I mean I'm a kage level nin….this won't even be a fight."

"Hnn…" Sasuke grumbled and scowled in response. He pulled an explosive tag from his pocket and wrapped it around the kunai.

"Look at the scowl on his face fellow announcer. I mean, he looks menacing. How can a thirteen year old boy look so scary." The announcer called out sarcastically.

"I'll tell you how me, he doesn't looks scary."

"Of course not me, it's obvious I lack the ability of understand the subtle depths of sarcasm."

Naruto laughed at the joke announcer. The man seemed to be having fun, and his jovial attitude was infectious. Still, even if somewhat occupied and not paying complete attention he pulled back and dogged the strike from Sasuke. His foot lashed out and barreled into Sasuke's side. The boy went flying, skidding across the ground as his body seemed to skip like a stone.

Naruto, both the older teen one, and the younger one about thirteen years of age, winced.

"Good god folks."

"That. Was. Expected folks. We all saw that coming."

"Not at all surprising."

Naruto, the younger one, turned to Sakura in joy. "Sakura-chan, old me is a badass. Did you just see that? I mean, I didn't even see him hit Sasuke but he just went flying."

The screen in the arena flashed and Sasuke's vitals appeared. His heart rate was dropping, and the lines that represented his hearts was jumping erratically, before finally, after a few seconds flat lining.

"Well folks It looks like this one sided battle is over."

"Young Uchiha Sasuke is dead. Poor boy, should have just fortified."

"Hopefully this will be a lesson to those who can recognize when their horribly outclassed. Death isn't permanent in the arena. But it sure as hell does hurt."

**xx-xxxx-xxx**

**So that was the first chapter, other chapters will be longer, and better. Please read review, fav, and follow if you want to see more of this story. **


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